The New Start

So this year has already been REALLY good!   I’ve been reading scriptures every morning, listening to talks during the day.  My friend Sarah and I had hung out all last week which had been extremely helpful for me.  After talking with my old FHE husband I had a greater desire to do good. To straighten my life and get it the way I’d always wanted it.  He’d told me how he wanted to have his “Calling and Election Made Sure”… Which is an amazing gift given to a person in their life time from God.  I’ve been studying it with Sarah and I’ve actually decided this is going to be my life goal.   As I’d finally decided this I realized that the reason I’d had such a hard time since being home from my mission was the fact that I had chosen goals to work toward that weren’t really obtainable on my own.  You usually hear how missionaries are told “now that you’re home it’s time to get married”… Well you can’t really do that on your own! Believe me, I’ve tried. Doesn’t work so well.   Anyway! It’s like all you hear is “get married, get married, get married”… Or at least that’s what I heard.  I knew my next step was marriage. I’d been on a mission, now get married. Well shoot, that’s not working out like I thought.  My boyfriend got married to SOMEONE ELSE while I was on my mission! I’d dated quite a bit since I’ve been home and nothing.

But choosing to dedicate your life to following the Lord – that’s something you can do on your own.  And it’s an every day effort!  Last Friday I sold my movies that I wouldn’t be willing to watch if the Lord was in the room… Some of them were PG13 – so that whole thing about “Mormons don’t watch R rated movies” is dumb… We should understand that it’s more than just being R. It’s the content of the movie.  I’m sure a lot of people today have notice the steep fall of values the world has taken.  A movie that would have been considered R 20 years ago would be PG today!  When I was getting rid of movies, believe me it was hard.  I had my friend with me and we actually prayed before we started going through them.  I’m a huge James Bond fan.  The latest series with Daniel Craig are my favorite.  For a week a wrestled with myself about getting rid of movies.  It was my favorite!!  I had other movies too that I wanted to keep but knew I wouldn’t want to watch if the Lord was with me.  “Memoirs of a Geisha”… I really liked that one too!  But there were sex scenes in it.  James Bond had action and a lot of violence… and sex.  But the underlying theme was they were both PG13.  If I was to go off the “Mormons Don’t Watch R Rated Movies” theology, I could totally keep those!… But I’m not dumb enough to limit myself and misunderstand the Prophets when they’ve said not to watch those kind of movies.  “For The Strength Of Youth” is an amazing tool if used.  But so is the Book Of Mormon.  In Alma 22:   18, after hearing of God from the prophet the King drops down and prays “O God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee”…

What are we willing to give up to know God?  Every blessing that man has ever received, we are promised that we can have them too, on condition of our faith.  But what kind of faith are we showing if we aren’t willing to follow the commandments?  “…I will give away all my sins to know thee….”

Its baby-steps.  But by small and simple things, great things are brought to pass. I can honestly tell you that since I’ve started reading scriptures and studying and even cutting out things I’d been doing – watching not so great movies, hanging out with people who didn’t have the same values as myself, etc – I’ve noticed a change.  I feel HAPPIER!  Shocker, right?    I honestly do, though.  I never noticed until I saw myself drastically changing from who I was to something I REALLY didn’t want to be.  I’d become a “toy” for 2 guys within 4 days.  It made me feel like crap! Even more so because I really thought these men were good men.  But you can’t always judge a book by their cover, right?  I can’t guarantee that my life is going to be free of losers.  But I can guarantee what my choice to do with those losers will be.  We are here to act for ourselves, not to be acted upon.  And if we find ourselves being acted upon, we need to stop and think for a minute – what happened to my choice?!  That’s what I did.

Reflection and Resolution Speaker: Russell M. Nelson
Event: BYU Devotional
Date Given: January 7, 1990
http://www.byub.org/findatalk/opentalk.asp?TalkID=122&talk=http://speeches.byu.edu/freefiles/provider1/type1/Nelson_Russell_01_1990.pdf
http://www.byub.org/findatalk/opentalk.asp?TalkID=122&talk=http://byubmp3.byu.edu/devos/1990/1/devo010790.mp3

For LDS Single Adults: Choosing a Marriage Partner Speaker: Brent A. Barlow
Event: BYU Education Week 2006
Date Given: August 23, 2006
http://www.byub.org/findatalk/opentalk.asp?TalkID=5558&talk=http://byubmp3.byu.edu/edweek/2006/8/barlow.mp3

Nurturing Marriage Speaker: Russell M. Nelson
Event: Conference Report
Date Given: April 1, 2006
http://www.byub.org/findatalk/opentalk.asp?TalkID=5503&talk=http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-602-13,00.html
http://www.byub.org/findatalk/opentalk.asp?TalkID=5503&talk=http://broadcast.lds.org/genconf/2006/April/2/GC_2006apr_25_NelsonRM_NurturingMarriage_000.mp3

That Form of Marriage: The Divine Design of Marriage and Family Speaker: Matthew O. Richardson
Event: BYU Education Week 2005
Date Given: August 15, 2005
http://www.byub.org/findatalk/opentalk.asp?TalkID=5432&talk=http://byubmp3.byu.edu/edweek/2005/8/mRichardson.mp3

The Decisions You Make Now: For the Strength of Youth Speaker: Andrew Horton
Event: BYU Education Week 2006
Date Given: August 23, 2006
http://www.byub.org/findatalk/opentalk.asp?TalkID=5659&talk=http://byubmp3.byu.edu/edweek/2006/8/horton.mp3

Gospel Values for Youth Speaker: John Bytheway
Event: BYU Education Week 1998
Date Given: August 17, 1998
http://www.byub.org/findatalk/opentalk.asp?TalkID=471&talk=http://byubmp3.byu.edu/edweek/1998/8/jbytheway.mp3

Happy New Year From Provo!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  This year is going to be my best year! I have amazing friends and a resolution to just be the best me I can be!

Ashley, Emily, and I made a night of it.  We first went out to dinner, super fun.  A guy I’d kissed Christmas eve/morning was actually there on a date with another girl. LOL! I noticed him and told the girls to casually look over.  They did one at a time as to actually not make it look obvious.  We continued talking and laughing and having fun when I looked over and he caught my eye.  It was funny because he did a double take.

After dinner we went to the Provo Towne Center for the First Night Provo 2009.  We walked around the mall for a while, we found 2 different places to dance where Ashley had some fun asking guys to dance while Emily and I watched on since neither of us know how to dance. After a bit of dancing (swing! love it!) we jumped into a line to have our fortunes read.  We were in line for about an hour and a half.  When I finally got my turn I was told in my past my love life/relationships had been rather dramatic (understatement!), my present was that I wanted things to cool down, I’m still trying to figure out who I am, and my future is that things will sort themselves out and I’ll find either a young man or a man in my youth who will be my love! Owh-la-la!! LOL!

After all the fun we made our way downstairs and outside where the ball was about to be dropped.  They said there would be a count-down… but well, there wasn’t. It just sat at the top, inched downward, and finally when it hit mid-night and the ball was still at the top they just dropped it before anyone could start counting. Oh well!

The girls and I cracked open our sparkling cider that we’d been given at the Italian restaurant when we went for dinner and started snapping pics to document the occasion.

Honestly, I have to say this is my favorite new year. Calm, enjoyable, and relaxing. Not to mention I spent it with some pretty awesome friends! YEAY!

5 Minutes Until Midnight

The Ball Just Dropped

Me and Ashley