When I was 23 and fresh off my mission I decided that I would go about doing good and continuing my research of the gospel. I had dedicated my life to having an LDS ceremony preformed for myself to making my “Calling and Election Made Sure”… (Basically knowing in this life that you were guaranteed to go to the highest level of heaven) In order to do this I needed to truly understand the doctrine. So I set about doing this… My heroes at the time were people like Susan Easten Black and Sherry Dew.

The more and more I went about researching the more and more I started having terrible things within the church happen. I’d been told all my life anything bad was a sign of Satan trying to stop the work. So when these terrible things happened I made excuses and pushed on.

It wasn’t until I left Utah and started over on my own that I was blessed to find that everything I’d worked for 28 years was a complete lie! I felt lied to, alone, scared, but at the same time FREE. The freedom to know the TRUE God made me happy, but scared to have the freedom. You’ll never really understand how trapped you are until you let it all go.

My goal now is to find the REAL Jesus Christ. To understand what the gospel really is… Now that I know Joseph Smith really did lie, I am having to re-read EVERYTHING. Jesus and God are NOT what Joseph said. The Priesthood, Temples, etc… It’s clearly in the bible… Joseph had no knowledge of a dang thing!

I do not belong to another church. I believe that it is impossible for God’s true church to be on the earth because the human rase is so corrupt. But I do study from the bible on my own. I will be using this page now to update you all on my progress.

Please subscribe to my blog for updates. I will leave my old posts on this page so you will witness how terribly I was mind controlled by the LDS church.

19 Comments Add your own

  • 1. LDS News Source  |  June 24, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    Dear LDS Blogger,

    I am with LDS News Source, we are a company that has just launched an online news portal for the members of the LDS Church. As of this message our site searches over 5000 newspapers worldwide every hour on the hour and compiles any and all articles that pertain to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints into one place. Our goal in building this was to create a place where members and non-members alike can go and find out what is happening with the church and its members world wide. It is also our answer to Elder M. Russell Ballard’s speech at the BYU Hawaii Commencement Exercises last year where he said:

    “may I ask that you join the conversation by participating on the Internet, particularly the New Media, to share the gospel and to explain in simple, clear terms the message of the Restoration. Most of you already know that if you have access to the Internet you can start a blog in minutes and begin sharing what you know to be true. You can download videos from Church and other appropriate sites, including Newsroom at LDS.org, and send them to your friends. You can write to media sites on the Internet that report on the Church, and voice your views as to the accuracy of the reports. This, of course, requires that you, all members of the Church, understand the basic, fundamental principles of the gospel.

    We are living in a world saturated with all kinds of voices. Perhaps now, more than ever, we have a major responsibility as Latter-day Saints to define ourselves, instead of letting others define us. Far too many people have a poor understanding of the Church because most of the information they hear about us is from news media reports that are often driven by controversies. Too much attention to controversy has a negative impact on peoples’ perceptions of what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints really is. ”

    This afternoon we will be launching the site and we would love to know what you think about it. As an LDS Blogger we were hoping that you would be willing to blog about our new site and share your thoughts with your readers. We would also like to invite you to do a banner exchange with us if you are interested. We have created a section of the site to display a list of all of the GOOD LDS blogs we can find. If you would like to be part of that please email us and let us know and we will add your link as soon as possible. If you are willing to do even more to help us spread the word about LDSNewsSource.com we would like to invite you to place a banner ad on your site. We have created one for just about every size space you can imagine and they can be downloaded here:


    We thank you for your consideration and hope that you enjoy using LDSNewsSource.com


    Jared Bauer

  • 2. Alan Whitcomb  |  February 13, 2009 at 5:31 pm


    I stumbled upon your site while looking up an opinion on genealogy. As I write, I am listing to Elder Nelson’s talk that you referred to.

    Might I suggest putting your shoulder to the wheel in something that you enjoy? Be it making websites in Spanish (there is a need for LDS Spanish sites).. Or dedicating yourself to doing genealogy and Temple work. If your family is all members for generations.. there is always FamilySearchIndexing.. along with (of course) regular Temple attendance.

    The saying of “birds of a feather flock together” is true.. lose yourself in service and you will find that “next step” in life… I would hope that you write about the “culture shock” of moving to Utah. I have been here for only six months, and outside of Sundays and Temple Square.. I am a fish out of water. In my case it is a little because I just spent 8 years living in Spain and running with the bulls 🙂

  • 3. Laurel  |  March 1, 2009 at 5:00 am

    Great blog! I just stumbled across you on LDS BLOGS. My husband and I just built a website (MormonsMadeSimple.com) which uses simple, explanatory videos to explain the Mormon faith. Feel free to embed one of our videos in your blog, if you think it would be a good missionary tool.

    Laurel & Doug

  • 4. Souvick Mazumder  |  August 8, 2009 at 9:07 am

    Hey Marie… Its a nice blog to go through… your thoughts are pretty enigmatic…
    You can have a look on mine too.. http://souvickmazumder.wordpress.com..


  • 5. bradybro  |  April 24, 2011 at 12:59 am


    Keep trying, sounds like you have had a rough go of things. It breaks my heart to hear the struggles you are going through.

    Please! don’t give up! Your potential is greater, then you realize.

    I read on one of your posts that you have trouble meeting girlfriends. Well, (hope this isn’t weird) I happen to know a girl that lives in Provo. It’s a friend I met on my mission in NY city, many many moons ago. She’s a great person, can’t say enough good things about her, she’s also a transplant to Utah and seems like you two might have some things in common (I’ll let her explain). If you would like I can give you or her some info and you or her could get in contact.

    The experience Could be a great blog post… just sayin’. 🙂


  • 6. Darrell M. Warnick  |  December 19, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    Marie or Brady,
    What do you know about ‘Calling and Election,’ It takes time, loads of time, and It’s only given by Father. I know, for to know is handling.

    I want to talk to you if you are serious. dmkcinraw@gmail.com — when I received mine, President Kimball said, ” it was a sacred thing, even many of the Apostles hadn’t received theirs, and it will be the saints who cast the first stones at you, be careful.”

    Darrell M. Warnick

  • 7. Darrell M. Warnick  |  December 19, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    This is not an easy thing to accomplish, but well worth every bit. Please contact me.


    Darrell Warnick

  • 8. Dd  |  January 23, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    I appreciate the risk you took in telling your story and felt impressed to write. There are many others who benefit from knowing that they aren’t the only ones with similar struggles. While my struggle may not be nearly so difficult to overcome as perhaps your challenge, your story validated for me that the Lord forgives so easily when we are willing, especially when we can be so hard on ourselves. I kept falling down again and again and beating myself up, and thinking that I was the only bad person on earth and felt so ashamed. I found strength in your story. While we may beat ourselves up for being weak and falling down, it takes an even stronger person to continually pick themselves up. I’ve found that I get stronger every time, and think I have kicked my habit finally.

    I found solace when I got back to the scriptures and really studied. It helped me understand who I was and to gain back that self-esteem. I also found a hobby that I could use to serve others and to occupy my mind and kept me from making the same mistakes. I was less focused on the self-esteem gained from others.

    We are all in this together, to help each other out. Keep up the good fight. You will beat this eventually.

    • 9. Darrell M. Warnick  |  April 17, 2014 at 9:35 am

      One cannot find solace in the scriptures, it is handling, handling is knowing. One must give their all, even their life, if necessary. Contact me – dmkcinrw@gmail.com Love, Darrell

  • 10. aurora  |  March 10, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    sr marie you’re a beautiful & brave daughter of our Heavenly Father. sometimes bad things happen 2 good people..our 2nd estate. your testimony bears witness of our Chosen Saviour’s redemptive power.

  • 11. Darrell M. Warnick  |  February 27, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    L.D.S Girl — I have received my “Calling,” from Father, Himself. I want to give you loads of help, if you wish? dmkcinraw@gmail.com Loads of love, Darrell Warnick

    • 12. Provo LDS Girl  |  March 3, 2014 at 11:36 am

      What on earth are you talking about???

  • 13. Darrell M. Warnick  |  March 3, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    Honey, If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you are not ready for the mysteries of godliness. Read D&C 14:7. It’s the gift of God, not man. Love Darrell

    • 14. Provo LDS Girl  |  March 3, 2014 at 1:17 pm

      Darrell, try reading the blog. The LDS church is false. 🙂

  • 15. Darrell M. Warnick  |  March 25, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    Provo LDS Girl — I have received my (D&C 14:7) I want to help. dmkcinraw@gmail.com

    • 16. Provo LDS Girl  |  March 25, 2014 at 11:31 pm

      Darrell, You’ve said this several times. I am not a member. I do not believe in the doctrines of Joseph Smith.

  • 17. S.R. Shaw  |  March 27, 2014 at 11:55 pm

    I feel very sorry for you. It almost breaks my heart to read that you, a return missionary (from the sounds of it) and someone who should know more and better, would turn so maliciously against the LDS church.

    I read how you were heartbroken about not getting to go to your sisters wedding. I imagine some of your family is supportive, but perhaps behind the scenes, also rather heartbroken at your choices in life, and this recent and final decision you made.

    I have a sister that is very much like you. In some ways she was even worse in regards to what she got into and what she did. The difference is she never got into the anti-Mormon lies. From what I’ve read about your statements on the book of Abraham and other arenas, it sounds like you’ve been listening or reading a bunch of information from people that do not have your best interest at heart, nor really anyones. They are typically bitter and rather mean towards ANYONE who isn’t their specific brand of “Christian” (or should I say, hate group). She felt rejected a LOT of her life, and had a lot of difficulties.

    They spew a LOT of information regarding the Book of Abraham and more, looking at it with worldly eyes, without understanding how something can be multiple items and multiple meanings at once (for example, the story of David is a direct parallel to that of Christ, but to a non-believer, they would only see the story of David and call any type and shadow towards Christ a lie).

    But, I think your difficulties lie FAR deeper than any doctrinal problems on the surface. I think your difficulties probably lie far deeper into your emotional facets. It sounds as if you’ve had a hard and difficult life and a hard and difficult time. I’m truly sorry about that.

    Personally, I am LDS. I am NOT LDS because of the reasons most list. I have more reason than you, and just about anyone to hate the LDS. Growing up, the only group of people that ostracized me were a group of LDS young men. I’ve had hate crimes and other things that LDS members participated in against me and my family. In realistic terms, I’d probably be closer to an atheist in regards to how I look at science. However, in reality, I truly know the church is true. I would be happy to discuss it with you, and hopefully you’ll be able to read the contact information.

    I’d be more than happy to answer your questions, but I would probably like to start on other things than what some would call deep doctrinal questions (aka…as you would have with the book of Abraham).

    However, though some of the things that Anti-Mormons talk about in regards to the Book of Abraham seem apparent, there are things that they ignore, or gloss over which are startling and have actually been confirmed by Egyptologists. You see Joseph Smith DID have a translation similar to what Egyptologists would include, but the Anti-Mormons NEVER bring up that information. There were several aspects of Josephs translation of the documents, but much of it isn’t seen and definitely not published in regards to this.

    Perhaps sometime you would like to go over it. It’s been a LONG time since I’ve gone over it, so it’s still reliant upon my shaky memory, but most of what we discussed in my classes had more to do with what an Egyptologist would see and how that relates to how that could be translated.

    I also did not go into the temple when my sister or my brother got married. For me, it was much more enjoyable to be outside anyways. There were kids, and I got to babysit the kids…which for me was much more fun than listen to some person drone on and on and on (and for that matter have never been fond of most churches either and the sermons OR meetings…as most of it has someone doing just that…droning on and on and on).

    Anyways, long post to your items, I was more looking into the rather odd aspect of Mormon hatred of Roleplaying games. It seems many who are anti-Mormon from around 40 years ago, were also VERY hatred filled towards RPGs and spread a bunch of lies about RPGs as well. That has very little about your blog, but it’s what led me here and got me reading your articles.

    AS I said, I am very saddened to hear your decision, and what led you to it. It doesn’t really sound as if it truly was based on sound doctrinal decisions (from what you posted it sounds more like what some people that are against the LDS church were stating rather than anything that is actually based on the facts around the translation or the book itself), and more dealing with other issues in your life and things that have personally happened to you.

    I hope that you can eventually find resolution and peace in your life, not necessarily in the LDS faith (as you have separated from what you’ve written), but in general with your choices and decisions in the past and currently. If you do see the contact stuff, hopefully that gives you a way that you can contact, simply state that it’s the provoldsgirl, and hopefully I can catch it (email seems to get a lot of spam stuff, but I do keep an eye out for non-spam), if you want to discuss this stuff further.

    • 18. Darrell M. Warnick  |  November 4, 2016 at 7:59 am

      Please write to dmkcinraw@gmail.com – I live in American Fork, Utah, because my neighbor Elder Eldred G. Smith and his wife (Hortense), (my close neighbor) told me to move to get a better start.

      Love, Darrell M. Wqrnick

      • 19. Darrell M. Warnick  |  November 4, 2016 at 8:39 am

        It’s for your own benefit. It’s the real reason for me being Exxed. Believe it or not?

        I will and can help loads. Darrell. dmkcinraw@gmail.com

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